# 7 - Greeting Cards or Can I Have a Job?

I was pleasantly surprised one afternoon last week by a small envelope in my office mailbox. Given the time of year I anticipated that it was a greeting card… Another reminder that I needed to purchase cards.

When I opened the envelope and pulled out the card, I realized that this wasn’t a Christmas card, but a handwritten Thank You card. It was from a student that I befriended during the summer. She thanked me for my advice on post-graduate education.

Sending thank you notes to recruiters or potential employers after an interview is a mandatory step in the application process. However, I was not recruiting this student for an open position but serving as a resource. Our meetings were neither formal nor frequent, but I recognized that she was different from other young people I had met. She was very enthusiastic and willing to accept good advice.

Her thank you card stamped such a positive impression into my mind that I am willing to keep in touch with her and help her in the future however I can. Her card is even hanging on my wall.
Are you leaving that kind of impression with your mentors, employers, recruiters or whomever you are reaching out to for professional help? If so, how are you doing it?

Here are a couple DO’s and DON’Ts to consider:

DO send thank you notes or cards. It demonstrates to the people who have taken time to give you advice that they didn’t waste their time on you. It keeps you fresh in their minds, especially if they display your card in a prominent place. (Beware that you may not be at the forefront of your recipient's mind, but it’s better than being an afterthought or forgotten.)

DON’T be insincere. People can see through artificial displays.

DO acknowledge how his/her help has been beneficial to you in the past and that you would welcome any help they can provide in the future.

DON’T beg for a job. Please don't tag onto your note, “By the way, do you have a job for me in your office?” That negates the purpose of your note and adds pressure that may turn your recipient off. Instead, follow-up with an email to ensure your recipent received your note and let him/her know that you could use some advice as you search for a job.

DO add a personal touch, such as a picture you took together or recant a joke you shared. What excited me about the card I received was that she included a picture we took together. The image of us together gives me a warm feeling each time I glance at my wall.

DON’T be generic. Reading “You were a nice person” or “stay cool” in your high school yearbook was annoying then and it still is as an adult in the workplace. If you don’t have anything meaningful to write maybe you shouldn’t be writing anything at all.

What you want is not to be forgotten and a card is a great way to be remembered. Just be careful that the card does not do more harm than help.

*** Updated***
An astute reader also added to the list:
"DO make sure you get the correct name AND spelling of your [recipient(s)] - Especially if their name is an unconventional one, or you are not certain of the spelling, ask them for a business card or confirm the correct spelling with them... While getting it right might not do a lot for you, getting it WRONG will certainly take a lot away."

# 6 - Christmas Party or Career Setback

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

At least that's what some store or other has purchased Andy Williams's voice to tell us in its tv ads (I think it is Macy's this year). Add to that the coupons and door-buster specials bombarding my email, 'Must-have toys of 2008' or 'Gifts under $50' segments on the news, and the many renditions of who misses whom at Christmas time. Yes, it's Christmas time (or for the more politically correct, the Holiday Season).

This inevitably leads to one of the most discussed professional topics after Thanksgiving... the office party.

I smile everytime I think of it. For some it conjurs up comical memories of partners/managers getting very "friendly" with young associates wearing ultra fitted and/or low neckline, high hemline dresses. For others, they have few memories at all since the arrive at the party a little "toasted" and leave stumbling out totally unaware of what kind of behavior they displayed.

For those just entering the market, beware of the office party. There are plenty of articles and news segments from experts about this though. My focus is on the other professional parties you may find yourself invited to such as an alumni reception.

It's easy to restrain your behavior when you know that the person managing your personnel dossier is standing at the next cocktail table, keeping their eyes out for bad behavior. What about at the Young [insert political affiliation] Holiday Party or the Association of Such & Such Seasonal shin-dig?

At these events the anonymity and relaxed accountability can lull a person into thinking their behavior and attire will go unnoticed and totally forgotten.

I admonish us to listen to wisdom as she screams in the streets. Having just attended such a function, I advise young people to be careful. Here's why:

- In DC, six degrees of separation is probably closer to 3 or 4. Do you really want to show up to an interview and find the guy you fell on (drunk out of your mind) the weekend before? People may not remember good deeds but they do remember bad ones.

- Parties are a great opportunity to network. In such a market environment, your next position may require more savvy and effort to procur. The older lady you happen to begin chatting with while reaching for cheese cubes may have the inside track on an unadvertised position. Or maybe weeks later she remembers that you studied some foreign concept in college that her foundation is launching an initiative on.

- Party organizers are taking notes - After the party they get together and compare notes on the misbehavers. That's probably why some people are not invited back to the XYZ Club dinner the following year. It's not that they are jealous of how good you think you looked in that lipstick red, strapless mini, but that you may have offended an influencial donor.

My advice is not to drink, to dress festively but wisely and not to be the first person on the dance floor or the last person off, but those are personal choices. However, do be mindful that social events can be opportunities to advance your career just as they can also set you you back for years to come.

# 5 - Open House or Big Mouth

It's FALL. I relish this season because it marks a transition from one phase in the weather and our lives to another. As I crunch the hefty auburn leaves under my new boots and pull my pashima scarf a little tighter around my neck to insulate me from the crisp morning chill, I smile at how much New Hampshire Ave reminds me of my COLLEGE campus. Argyle patterned knits, opaque tights, and UGGs bounce past me as sunlight streams through the thinning branches.

It makes me long once again for... school. I knew 2 years ago when I completed my MASTER's degree that I would probably return and get another postgraduate degree. I contemplated a PhD but remember how frustrated I was with academics who pontificate on theory all day and never put their hands to the soil to cultivate the fruit of application.

I recently came across a master's program through John's Hopkins for communications. The website seemed thin on information, but the program offered an information session last night. I never attended an INFO SESSION (what I'll call an open house*** for now) for my previous programs and thought this would be a good experience. I was not disappointed.

Skipping info sessions is a mistake I would hope others don't make. Treat an ACADEMIC info session the same as you would a regular open house and you'll see the value immediately.

- Safety in numbers - Sitting down with an ADMISSIONS rep one-on-one may be daunting and feel more like an interview leading a person to withhold questions. In a large group the attention is less focused on you and you feel less restrained to ask questions. Also, hearing the response to one person's question may lead you to think of another.

- Get your questions answered... and you don't even have to ask them! Many of the same QUESTIONS I planned to ask were the same others asked. By the end of the evening my list was exhausted. I suggest though that one reserves one or two questions to ask informally after the session ends or to contact the office with later.

- No commitment - If after the first few minutes of the spiel, you sense this program or school is not for you, you can walk out. No questions asked and no hard feelings.

- Stake out the competition - In a room of over 60 people I could see the faces of all of those who were considering applying and listen to their questions and conversations. While not an exact measure I could "size them up" and get some sense of my chances as well as figure out how to distinguish myself from them.

What the info session offers is an opportunity for a brief insight into the APPLICATION process and an overview of the program, but presented differently than the text on a web page. It gives the school a face, but still allows you as an applicant to be fairly anonymous.

This is not the stage of the application process to make yourself "stand out" by bombarding the representative with questions in front of the whole group that only serve to make you seem smarter than the rest of the crowd. (There was a least one of those people last night.) Such a plan may backfire and brand you as the know-it-all bad apple in the bunch.

If you have the mindset that this is just a me (applicant) getting to know you time, then you'll be open-minded and realistic in your EXPECTATIONS. Expecting to walk out with an acceptance letter because you made yourself "stand out" is unrealistic at best and a set-up for denial at worse.

It's an open house*** not an open mouth session.

*** I'm using open house here to mean an information session. Some schools do offer an open house distinct from an information session that occurs after admission, where accepted students can visit the school and meet with different departments. Information sessions tend to be cursory whereas open houses get into the nitty gritties of the program.

#4 - Unexplained lumps or Get health insurance!

So it's been a little over a week since I last blogged. No worries, I'm back and with a great topic that's especially important to young people early on in our careers -- HEALTH INSURANCE!

Life was much simpler when we were on our parents health insurance. We went to the DOCTOR each year to find out how much TALLER we had grown and how much of an outlier we were becoming from the medical GROWTH CHARTS.

From MEASLES to MONO, CHICKEN POX to a COLD, a variety of ailments leads the average minor to the doctor or emergency room. For many of us, while we vomited up the soup and DIMATAPP our mother had forced down our inflamed throats, the last thing on our minds was how we would pay for the trip.

I remember my mother pulling out a white CARD -- like a credit card -- to pay at the register--ration desk and I was on my way.

Then one day it happens. A couple months after the euphoria of having that 4 year degree wears off, you receive a letter in the mail stating that you are no longer eligible to remain on your PARENTS' HEALTH INSURANCE, unless you are still in school.

I forwent this inevitability for two more years as I worked on my master's degree. When that ended I was left with the reality that I had no health insurance.

Months passed and my internship turned to part-time and then a full-time job. I learned tough lessons in healthcare:

1. GET HEALTH INSURANCE! Sure you are 25, a non-smoker or drinker, in shape and feeling good, but lumps emerge on healthy bodies just like they do on 50-year-old, overweight, smoking alcoholics.

2. Unlike a credit card, to use the health card you have to PAY $$$ UPFRONT each week. Your health care provider is second in line behind Uncle Sam for dibs on your paycheck.

3. Unless your employer's initials are S.C. (Santa Clause), there are NO FREE BENEFITS.

4. If your visit doesn't meet the DEDUCTIBLE, you may have to pay for it. This creates an incentive to get as much done in a visit as one can. Why not go for the ultrasound or cat scan?

5. Repeat #1. That extra $25-50 a month can pay for cable or a couple of nights out, but what happens when you twist your ankle getting off the train or sprain your wrist on the last frame at the bowling alley? That may cost you cable for the rest of the next couple years.

If you don't remember anything else, GET HEALTH INSURANCE.

#3 - Skip the Cherry Tomatoes or Working a Networking Event

How many times do you find yourself coming to a networking event ALONE and trying to figure out who is worth your time?


Two nights ago I found myself at the the National Press Club for a college ALUMNI networking event. A panel of journalists (also alumni) from several big news outlets --which I won't name-- was assembled to discuss election coverage so far.

Usually, alumni NETWORKING EVENTS can be a toss up, either a career changing moment or a total waste of time.

I didn't expect the the CAREER changing moment, but actually an intelligent and lively discussion. As usual there was a pre-event reception.

The free beverages, CRUDITES and hors d'oeuvres are a good filler after a long day, especially when you're on a budget. Beware of slippery CHERRY TOMATOES though. You'll chase them around your plate with your fork until they slip off and roll along the floor. CARROT STICKS can also be impenetrable to your fork forcing you to use your fingers while everyone else is handily using their forks.

With my club soda and lemon, I was ready to mingle and scanned the room. There were a few circles. As I sipped and sized up those in the room, I planned my strategy.


WALL FLOWERS like me don't step into the middle of a conversation -- especially when the conversants are exuding an air of "I'm successful and you're not" and purposefully avoiding eye contact.

There are the other LONERS who hover around the bar or cling to the food displays. They may have great personalities and are worth reaching out to but I wouldn't start with them perchance they cling to you for the rest of the night.

The best approach is waiting until someone is close to you and their guard is down, like after they've just taken a bite of food that may not have been as neat as they expected. Stick your hand out and greet them. You are in a POSITION OF POWER and can use that as an entry point.

You already have something in common, since you've attended the same school. You can build on that with a 'what did you study' or 'what are you doing now question?' Within the first 30 seconds, it's easy to tell whether you have enough CHEMISTRY to keep talking. If that SPARK is not there move on. If it is, keep building and you'll be surprised at how quickly others will join your conversation.

#2 - Worthless Career Coffee Meetings or The Networking Virus

Have you ever taken time out of your schedule to meet someone for "COFFEE" in hopes of getting a contact name, career direction or career advice?

If you live in DC I think it's inevitable. Even if you don't live here we at some point all have fallen into that trap.

Maybe a friend met someone at a party who did something similar to you and passed your name along to them. As an obliging person, you blindly set up the meeting only to find that you don't do similar things and you have more to offer than that other person.

It's not their fault really. Nor is it entirely your friend's fault. I chalk it up to the NETWORKING VIRUS. It's an INFECTION that people catch at different stages of their life. Like chicken pox, once it enters a class or circle of friends, in no time everyone has it. It thrives in certain cities like DC and NY.

At first you're host body, like me accepting contact emails from random people, but then you become a PREDATOR spreading your business cards to new VICTIMS or to others who already of the virus. Unfortunately, it never leaves you're system entirely.

At varying stages, its SYMPTOMS wane, but facing a job loss or career change and suddenly it's back with a vengeance. Instead of waiting for invitations to receptions and networking events, you go on the prowl scanning websites and chatting up strangers at the grocery store looking for the business card that leads to the name that leads to the unadvertised position that leads to your SUCCESS.

Even when you're settled in your CAREER, your energy shifts entirely to spreading the virus to the next generation, your children. Instead of "Here's my card and please keep me in mind if anything arises or feel free to pass my name along to Mr. X in that department," you start to say "my daughter is a high school junior interested in journalism, maybe you can use her help around the office filing or something."

In any case, the benefit of the networking virus is that it BUILDS your immune system. It makes you stronger, more confident and expands your pool of resources for career, finances, real estate, education and general advice.

Maybe my coffee meeting wasn't worthless after all. If anything, that's another person who knows my name and face in an organization that I may want to get into in the future.

One day, I'll be in the other seat passing on the virus to some other pure host body.

The Pink File #1 -- Building an Attractive Career not a Career on Being Attractive?

Welcome to my blog.

I'm Patrice. Speaker, media relations novice, former - but soon to be again - entrepreneur, conservative feminine voice, and now blogger.

I'm an ENIGMA -- not an anathema.

I'm highly OPINIONATED and just as passionate.

I'm NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT, so beware!!!!

I like ACTION flicks and BLOODY EPIC MOVIES over romantic comedies.

I'll take a good Patriot's FOOTBALL game over a home decor show any day.

I've done a lot in my short 26 years
-- SPEAKING AGENT for a semi-celebrity
-- SPEECH WRITER of speeches heard around the world
-- managed a student travel program to South Africa...

I'm from an island with an active VOLCANO.

If I had a dime for every person who told me I should be a MODEL.
-- There' s more to me than just looks and this blog will chronicle how I build my career based not on looks.

I love PINK. I have so many shades of tops, sweaters, skirts, jackets, suits and even shoes in the color. Hence the name of this blog. But don't be deterred if you're a guy.

I just moved to DC to pursue my career and that's what I hope for this blog to be about. Maybe you can take some lessons I've learned and apply it yourself.

Come back again soon.